onsdag 20. oktober 2010

So, there are many things in life you just can't get over.
Parents dying is one of them.
It's now 16 years since my mother died, and it still seems strange.
And I can't even remember her.

All I know is that the lady was brave, kind, and determined, everything I wanted her to be.
I've never heard anyone say a bad thing about her.
How so is it that she somehow deserved to die, is a good question.
My answer? Cancer is a bitch.

This medical issue, this error in dna, this little thing, keeps haunting me and so many others.
I wish so much that the scientists can finally find a good solution against it, as I've feared it most of my life.
Some years ago I thought I actually had it myself, and since my mother died at only 31, eventhough they were certain I didn't have it, they let me get rid of whatever it is.

And still, I fear it, but I try my best to just not think about it.
My life shouldn't be oriented around a fear like this.
Like all others, I need to live, and I actually like my life, eventhough the very few friends, and lack of what others call a life.

I often wish I could go back in time and save my mother, but I'm smart enough to know that it can't happen. Time travel, if even possible, would be too dangerous.

Thank you mom, for giving me a life eventhough I can't see how it goes with you.
Thank you mom, for giving me motivation, an idol.
Thank you mom, for being brave until the end.
Thank you, mom.

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